Tuesday, April 20, 2021

i am a grain of sand, forever trapped inside your current

 it's 1:51 am. i have to take you home in the morning so you can go to your second day of work. i should probably be sleeping.

i love you.

every few moments i'll look over at you from my desk and i can't help the unconscious smile that crosses my face.

i love you.

i've never known anyone like you. it's cliche and stupid to say you complete me, but it's true in a more literal sense than most people mean it.

we fill gaps. you're good at what i'm not, and vice versa. we can take two halves and make a whole success story together. we both deserve it, after everything.

i think back a lot to when we first met. when i was dragged into that discord server by someone that i don't talk to anymore.

we used to butt heads a lot, and i thought you hated me. you say you don't remember that, but i do.

i remember it especially now. we have both grown so much from who we were those years ago. i didn't expect us to become even close friends at all, let alone what we are now.

i hesitate to say "dating" because that feels so dismissive to what i feel we are. we are not "dating". i can't put a word to it but it's so much more than that.

i love you.

i couldn't have made it here without you. i couldn't have stayed here without you. i wouldn't be any sort of worth your time if you weren't in my life.

i still don't think i'm worth your time.

i still fuck up, a lot. and it fucks me up, because you deserve nothing short of flawlessness.

i love you.

i hope one day i'm worth your time. in the meantime, thank you for wasting your time with me.

i love you.