It ain't about how hard you can hit.

It's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward.

I'm trying Rocky.

I'm trapped in the corner and my guard is scrumbling

Liver shot
Uppercut
One two
Hook
Straight
I'm getting pummeled and the ref should've stopped the fight by now

But he won't
He got paid off
He's gonna let my opponent beat on me until I'm a smear on the mat

But I can take a punch.

I've spent my whole life taking punches.
From opponents and myself.

And I'll be damned if I don't see my opening and take my shot and beat this heavyweight called life.

I'll take this break-up recovery on the chin. My knees are wobbling but I'm still standing.
This seperation straight to the stomach. The wind's knocked out of me but I'm still standing.
This couch-hopping to the side. My ribs are screaming but I'm still standing.
I'll take this loneliness all 12 rounds. My muscles are aching but I'm still moving forward.

I'm still moving forward.

And if I do fall?
Mickey said it best.
"If you're hurt, and you feel yourself goin' down, a little lady gonna whisper in your ear. She's gonna say, 'GET UP, YOU SONOFABITCH!'"

And I will.

Because I didn't hear no bell.

And I'm not coming home.

I really wanna just

Uproot.

Take off.

Leave.

Go somewhere new. I don't want to be here anymore. But I can't leave yet. People need me here.

And so I stay.

I don't even know where I'd go.

But I suppose that's where the fun is, yeah?

The mystery of it all.

Where am I gonna end up?

What's gonna happen?

I don't know.

But I know one day you'll find me at the top of the world.

Kubler and Ross would be proud.

I've been a walking example of the stages of grief for the last 2 months.

It's been 2 months since my life fell to pieces and I'm still picking them up.
Shock, denial, anger, and bargaining all came quick.

Anger's still here but is starting to fade, finally.

Depression is on and off again.

Just waiting on that acceptance to finally hit.

Opportunity wasted.

I'm sorry we never took those dance classes.

I promise I actually did want to learn for you.

Maybe next time.

I'd invite you with us if I could.

I know you'd love to come.

Back-pedaling.

I'm not quite who I want to be.
But I've come a long way from who I was.

But recently I seem to be going back.
A lot of withheld anger is coming out lately.
My jokes are becoming more agressive.
More mean.
I didn't even realize it until someone pointed it out.

I had the time of my life ripping someone to shreds the other day. Sure, it was a simple comic debate on the internet, but I hadn't had that much fun insulting someone's ignorance in a long time. Primarily because I never really went out of my way to insult someone's ignorance for a long time.

I'm getting mean again.

I don't want to.
I don't want to go back so far when I just started moving forward.

I'm being a lot more conscious of everything I say since it was pointed out to me.

I don't want her to find out who I used to be.
I don't want my old friend to see me go from who I am now back to the person she cut out of her life.
I don't want to hurt people.

I don't want to lose everyone again.

This house don't feel like home.

I've had a lot of serious reality checks lately.

I need to get out of here.