Inevitable future alcoholism.

This past Saturday, I did a thing. I became a cool kid.
I drank alcohol for the first time.
My first few sips of the Bacardi and rum I was given tasted strange, but the more I drank the more I enjoyed it.

The alcohol affecting me allowed me to function in a social environment in ways I never had been able to before, due to my introversion and antisocial tendencies.

I held a conversation with a complete stranger.
I was cracking jokes with everyone in the room, and I only knew 3 of them.
I was enjoying myself at a party that consisted of more than 5 people. (There were about 10 people.)

I didn't get drunk, though. I managed to stop at, as my friend put it, "That point after tipsy but before drunk where you're supposed to stop but no one ever does."

And I loved every second of it. And since, I've wanted more, constantly. Even right now, 8:47 pm, Monday night, when I have school tomorrow, I'd love a drink.

I handled my alcohol surprisingly well, as when I was in my inebriated state my motor skills were perfectly intact and my brain was functioning at full capacity, with only a shorter attention span.
It was great!

But the way I handled my alcohol so great reminded me
Alcoholism runs in my family.
Addiction in general runs in my family.
And I enjoyed my first time drinking way too much to be healthy for someone in my family.

I've even stated, multiple times, that "alcohol is my new favorite thing."
My friends and I now crack jokes about how I'm going to be the constant drunk out of all of us.
How, I'm gonna get wasted any time there's even a small party.

And part of me is EXTREMELY worried that it's true.
Because I've seen the kind of shit alcohol can do to someone.
And even though I'm a happy drinker, that does not mean it doesn't hold the potential to completely fuck up my life.
Because it can, and odds are, it'll come close to, if not completely ruining me.

I have a 7/10 chance of becoming an alcoholic, roughly.
I also have a 6/10 chance of becoming a functioning alcoholic, which a good portion of the alcoholics in my family are.
That's a 65% chance that I won't completely ruin my life if I become an alcoholic (It's 65% because this is completely dependent on if I even become an alcoholic.)
But a 70% chance that I will.

Roughly.